General Conference October '12

I've missed posting on this blog and have felt unconnected with family. Maybe some of you are still interested in reading this, but if not, I think I'll still try to do it--if for no other reason than I need a journal. School has been so busy lately that I have had no time for posting. Somehow, I'm going to try to find time to continue.

To get my posting started again, it seems appropriate to list the things I've learned this general conference.

First, I learned some big things about myself when they announced the new age limit for missionaries. Now women can go on missions when they turn 19. Since I got married 100 days ago and two months after my 19th birthday, I have just missed the cut off. Many people who read this, will not understand what a loss this is to me. I have always grown up with a burning desire to go on a mission and marriage came very unexpectedly.

When I received the revelation that Andrew was indeed the person I should marry, I cried. I cried because I knew I would have to give up a mission. I was giving up the opportunity to dedicate my life solely to God for a while, to learn a language, to meet people different than me, to travel, and to live a strict schedule. All things I have wanted to do forever. I love Andrew so much and he is the best husband anyone could ask for. I thought I had moved past this huge decision. When they announced the age change, I cried so hard. Why in the world would Heavenly Father change the policy so close to my giving it up? It seemed like He was rubbing salt in a deep wound. Thanks to some kind words from a best friend, I pulled myself together and decided, "I don't have to make the choice now, so I might as well be happily married." Andrew promises we'll go on a senior couple mission, but somehow it's hard to convince me that it'll be the same. Later through conference, it felt like they were emphasizing trusting in God's will and timetable. I'll work on that for the next couple of months. Obviously, even if I thought I was okay with following God's will, I was not okay with His timetable.

I loved Sister Dibb's talk about this. Can we truly say this in our lives? Are we willing to be so bold about it in speech and action? Are we willing to show how happy the gospel makes us? Do we know the truths, do we live the truths, and does that make us happy?

I learned that guilt, anger, and self-pity are all debilitating from Elder Bowen. I can apply this to frustrations I'm having with some policies at BYU right now. I can't get anything done about them if I just spend my time being frustrated and angry about them. I will get nowhere in my personal pity-party.

Elder Nelson encompassed one of my personal beliefs when he talked about how whether truth comes from a laboratory or from the scriptures, members of the church seek after it. Thus my belief that science and religion can work together.

I love President Uchtdorf. As many will agree, he has a unique way of speaking that goes straight to the soul and offers many one liners that can be implemented and repeated. I'm going to have to go back over his talk and do a separate post on it.

Do we as children understand the saying from Elder Perry's talk that says, “I can’t turn from your teachings because I know my actions would reflect on your character.” Everything we do reflects on our parents character. I've never understood that more than during the time my mother worked as the president of WHEN. Many people I had never heard of knew who I was and what I was doing. Everything children do reflects on their parents.

Can we truly answer Elder Ballard's question, "Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?" It's almost always the small acts that add up to a busy life. Elder Hawke challenged us to read the Book of Mormon again and Elder Gay questioned what we would sell our soul for. Don't forget about sins of omission. Elder Whiting detailed how hard we work to make our temples perfect and reminded us that we are the temples of the Lord as well.

Elder Oaks came right out and stated that abortion is a form of abuse to children and that children should be center stage of marriages. President Eyring warned us not to put barriers between us and the Lord and then feel confused and hurt when we can't feel the Lord's love. Sister Burton urged us to observe and serve. Elder Gonzalas asked us to apply our heart to our scripture reading.

I loved Elder Holland's talk and can't wait to go back to study it. It struck right to my soul. In our mortal childish understanding of things can we at least live the first commandment: to love the Lord our God with all our might, mind and strength? I want to follow President Monson and take a personal inventory of all the blessings I have and have had in my life.

Elder Hales urged us again to do both temple work AND family history work. No matter what they say, I feel completely lost with family history. The tools they have for it are either so out dated I can't figure out how they work or tailored to advanced family historians in such a way that I have no idea where to start. I'm trying, but the most I can do is indexing. Someday, I'll understand how to do it.

Elder Osgethorpe announced a new teaching program that is designed so teachers can tailor their lessons to their students. Elder Clarke gave us 5 suggestions for sacrament:

1) Have a feeling of gratitude for the sacrifice of HF’s son
2) Memorize sacrament prayers
3) Feel forgive on our sins, by repenting before sacrament meeting
4) Receive inspiration for our daily problems
5) Partake of the sacrament worthily to feel the HG

Elder Bednar defined the differences between conversion and testimony and how they work together and President Monson closed the conference with a reminder to always be tolerant of others.

Love you all! I'll try and post more.

He Truly Loves Us

Click for the talk

Quote 1: "their missionary experience could be applied as a template for nurturing others throughout the rest of their lives. As this army of righteous disciples return from their missions to the many countries across the earth, they are becoming key contributors in the work of establishing the Church."

Thought: Andrew can be a powerful force if he applies everything he learned on his mission. He's a great example of this. For instance, he has a super strong habit of prayer that he picked up from his mission. I'm not nearly as good at it as he is and hope to pick it up from him. I know that I have to be open to changing for that to happen.

Quote 2: "Awakening the desire to know enables our spiritual capacities to hear the voice of heaven."

Thought: The first step in receiving revelation is to want it.

Quote 3: "To love the Lord is not just counsel; it is not just well-wishing. It is a commandment. … Love of God is the root of all virtue, of all goodness, of all strength of character, of all fidelity to do right"

Thought: How can I develop a strong love for God? Gratitude is one step I know. I think obedience is another way to develop it. I think familiarity - developed through prayer and scriptures - is important.

Quote 4: "How much I thought I loved her on that day, but I had only begun to see the vision of love."

Thought: If Andrew and I nurture our love and live a righteous marriage our love can only grow.

Quote 5: "The feeling of love from our Heavenly Father is like a gravitational pull from heaven. As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us toward Him. "

Thought: Do I feel that gravitational pull toward Heaven? How strong is it?

Converted to His Gospel through His Church

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I loved this talk. I hadn't ever thought of it before, but it's true. The church and the gospel are not the same thing. But they are very very closely related and help each other. The purpose of the church is to help us assimilate the gospel.

Quote 1: "Some have come to think of activity in the Church as the ultimate goal. Therein lies a danger. It is possible to be active in the Church and less active in the gospel. Let me stress: activity in the Church is a highly desirable goal; however, it is insufficient. Activity in the Church is an outward indication of our spiritual desire."

Thought: I can't get complacent and start to think that just because I attend church each week that I am an active member of the church. There are so many things in my life that measure my activity that cannot be marked down on an attendance chart.

Quote 2: "By contrast, the things of the gospel are usually less visible and more difficult to measure, but they are of greater eternal importance. For example, how much faith do we really have? How repentant are we? How meaningful are the ordinances in our lives? How focused are we on our covenants?"

Thought: I want to keep these questions around and ask myself them periodically. Where do I stand? It's not something that can really be measured quantitatively but it's important to stop and check yourself. I don't want to get complacent again and forget to be progressing.

Quote 3: "1. Deepen our understanding of Deity. 2. Focus on the ordinances and covenants. 3. Unite the gospel with the Church."

Thought: These are three areas I can work on. I like it when people put things in numbers for me. I know I'm not supposed to turn everything into To-Do lists, but it makes it easier for me to manage in my brain and put it into context.

Quote 4: "As we come to each meeting prepared to “seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118), the Holy Spirit will be our teacher. If we come to be entertained, we often will be disappointed. President Spencer W. Kimball was once asked, “What do you do when you find yourself in a boring sacrament meeting?” His response: “I don’t know. I’ve never been in one”

Thought: There was a hidden message for me here. If I'm not enjoying church, perhaps my heart's in the wrong place. We should go to church joyfully because we go to show we love the Lord and want to do what we says. We go because we want to learn and we want to teach. Do not expect to be taught and entertained by the speakers. If you go with your heart in the right place, you will be taught by the spirit.

Teaching Our Children to Understand

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Quote 1: "Teaching our children to understand is more than just imparting information. It’s helping our children get the doctrine into their hearts in a way that it becomes part of their very being and is reflected in their attitudes and behavior throughout their lives."

Thought: Is the gospel of Jesus Christ in my heart? Is it reflected in my actions? Do I understand it - not just know it?

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

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Quote 1: "Now I do know what President Kimball meant."

Thought: But I don't. What did President Kimball mean? Did that boy grow up into someone important? Or does it just have to do with the topic of the talk?

Quote 2: "At night, when I pull the covers over me, I offer a prayer for those who have no warm bed to go to."

Thought: I should add this to my prayers. I don't want to do vain repetitions, but I think as I develop gratitude and empathy this will automatically be added often to my prayers.

Quote 3: “Children are an heritage of the Lord: and … happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”

Thought: I love little children. Andrew and I want to give ourselves a little time to get established and then I will take on the duties of Mother. I cannot wait. It will be difficult but it is a duty that Andrew and I know we will have great joy in. Children are wonderful!

Quote 4: "Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling—from which they will never be released—is to one another and then to their children."

Thought: The most important calling we can have is to be a Mother or Father. This has added meaning for me. Since I did not get the opportunity to serve a mission, I comfort myself by remembering that being a mother is like be a full time missionary for a lifetime. The schedule will be similar, I'll have a companion (granted one I got to choose), and I will be teaching the missionary discussion a LOT. Eventually I get to see my investigators baptized and go through the temple. It is a lifetime missionary calling to a specific and small group of people. The only things I'll miss, is meeting new cultures, languages, and people. Somehow, I'll have to fulfill the yearning desire some other way. But the burning desire I've had to serve a mission for my God can be fulfilled by being a mother.

Quote 5: "There are many things about living the gospel of Jesus Christ that cannot be measured by that which is counted or charted in records of attendance. We busy ourselves with buildings and budgets and programs and procedures. In so doing, it is possible to overlook the very spirit of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

Thought: Remember, the gospel of Jesus Christ is not a To-Do list. It's a journey - a pathway. Do I get so caught up trying to do everything I know I'm supposed to, that I don't assimilate the godlike characteristics that those things are supposed to teach?

As We Gather Once Again

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Quote 1: "Should there be changes which need to be made in your life, may you find the incentive and the courage to do so as you listen to the inspired words which will be spoken. May each of us resolve anew to live so that we are worthy sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father."

Thought: I hadn't thought about it before, but making changes in your life require courage. I would add persistence and a continual change of heart. I love the courage bit though. I want to be courageous!

Quote 2: "We come together as one, speaking many languages, living in many lands, but all of one faith and one doctrine and one purpose."

Thought: This sounds an awful lot like one of the definitions of Zion. Are we on our way to this? Can we really bring ourselves to be of one mind and one heart to have peace and form Zion on earth?

Quote 3: "There is much that is difficult and challenging in the world today, my brothers and sisters, but there is also much that is good and uplifting. As we declare in our thirteenth article of faith, “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” May we ever continue to do so."

Thought: Even as the world goes downhill, there are many things we can find in the world that are beautiful and spiritual. Which do I seek out?